Not On My Own

This past month has been so difficult. Not just because of the pandemic, but because I thought I could do it on my own. I thought I could balance homework, a weekend job, church, and friends, but I can’t… and that’s okay. I tried to accomplish it all in my own strength, but I was left weak, overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed, you name it. Anxiety crept in, and at times I felt like I was drowning in demands and expectations of me from other people. God taught me a great lesson through this difficult season. It is not in my own strength, but His.

I was at youth service a few Wednesday’s ago, and while worshiping God gave me a vision that broke my walls down.

I was walking through shallow waters, and Jesus appeared by my side to hold my hand. I rejected it because I was walking with ease. I kept walking, and I approached deep waters. I decided to keep trudging on because I was determined to do it on my own. The waves were crashing all around me, and soon enough, not only was I battered by the waves, but the waves consumed me. I got to the point that I couldn’t stand; I fell to my knees, and Jesus showed up beside me. He didn’t keep a record of wrongs, and He didn’t hesitate even for a moment to reach for me even though I had rejected Him countless times before. He looked in my eyes and touched my heart with His words saying, “You are not in this alone. I have gone before you, behind you, and I am with you. Never doubt that for a moment.” He took my hand and we walked through the deep waters together. When I was weak, and felt like I couldn’t go any farther, He carried me. He loves me too much to leave me battered by the waves in my darkness. Jesus has never left your side, when will you choose to acknowledge Him?

“So do no fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

In previous blogs, I have mentioned that my word for 2020 is abdicate; meaning to step down from power. God has brought this up so much in my life this past year. When I went through a breakup, my car broke down, Covid cancelled school, quarantine forced me to be still, I’m at my wits end with school, and hundreds of things in between just this year! God is using this right now to teach me that I need to step down, let go, and let Him. Let Him give me strength that exceeds anything I can ever do on my own. Just because things are out of my control does not mean that they are out of His control. Our greatest strength means nothing without God.

*A word for the year is basically a word you are declaring over your year. This could be something you want to grow in (I need to learn to give God control!) This word can also be something you are believing for (Healing for example.) If you have any questions, please message us because we would love to hear from you!*

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

Song recommendation: “Fighting for Me” by Riley Clemmons

“Even Then” by Micah Tyler