Inside Out

My dad and I were running errands in my car a couple weeks ago, and I noticed that my windshield was kind of dirty. I told him I needed to get a car wash, and he told me he thought it was the inside glass that needed cleaning, not the outside. I blew off his suggestion and went to get a car wash to clean the outside. I drove out of the car wash with a dirty windshield. I was so frustrated and I told my dad that I wasted my money on a car wash that didn’t do its job. He calmly replied,” Let me show you something.” We went into the garage, he grabbed some glass cleaner, and proceeded to show me how to clean the inside of my windshield. Guess what? It was clean.

In that moment God reminded me that a lot of times we try to clean up the outside and spend money trying to make it seem more attractive just to hide what is truly happening on the inside. The truth is… whatever is inside your heart will come out no matter how hard you try to keep it contained. If you are full of envy, sadness, worry, fear, insecurity, etc. it will become apparent in your day to day life despite your efforts to suppress it. Difficult situations release what is truly inside, and if this year hasn’t truly shown me what is in my heart then I don’t know what will. I have struggled with a lot this year in multiple arenas, but one thing remains true - God is on my side. He has seen my ugliness come out in its most raw form, but yet He still chooses to love me despite the times I choose to not love Him.

This reminds me of the story of Paul. Specifically when he was on the road to Damascus and he had an encounter with God that changed his heart. One moment in the presence of God changed the trajectory of this man’s life. He was on his way to kill Christians as Saul and instead used the trip to minister to them about the love of God as Paul. (Acts 9)

He was not fulfilled with his life, and his heart was full of hatred. I think many of us try to get our nails done, buy new clothes, get a haircut etc. because we are not fulfilled on the inside. Just to make this clear… I am a firm believer in retail therapy, but issues of the heart need to be addressed first and foremost. Take your heart to Jesus, and lay it at His feet. The good, the bad, the ugly; He can handle it all. He is the only reason I have healed through heartbreak, let go of comparison, the burning desire for constant validation, and the need to control. I still struggle with these things, but I am not a slave to them anymore and that has given my heart an uncontrollable joy. There is freedom in giving it to Jesus, and that can change you from the inside out. I don’t have to fake a smile anymore because my heart is at peace and joyful - I pray the same for you.

Can we put a stop to “masking” our true self, and instead of spending money, start spending time at the feet of Jesus to surrender your heart. You will begin to see a change in the way you carry yourself, how you speak to others, and even how you speak to yourself.

Psalm 37:4

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

This verse does not mean to ask God for the biggest house or the newest car, but it does mean the more time you spend with God and getting to know HIS heart, the more your desires will begin to align with the plan and purpose He has for your life.

I pray that our hearts will begin to resemble Christ's more each day. That we will love people more with no agenda. That we will encourage each other instead of tear each other down. That we will be patient and kind to those that seem undeserving. That we will be slow to speak and quick to listen.