From Fake To Free

What are you refusing to give to God that is holding you captive?

Last summer I went to my first church camp. Our leaders for the week had a prophetic session with us. I was looking at our male leader and the next thing I know, he said “Hey Sydney I saw you making hard eye contact with me like hey give me a word” and everyone giggled. I was excited because all these people were getting great words like “you’re gonna be a great leader” and “you’re gonna minister to a bunch of people” and calling out these incredible gifts.

He said “I see this white cloud like this beautiful, brilliant, white puffy cloud. And then I zoom in and I see a gray, stormy cloud on the inside and I feel like that you’ve built up walls. You try to have this perfect, everything is okay, kinda thing on the outside but on the inside there are things that aren’t so perfect. You are building up walls instead of letting God in so He can fix that. The only way that clouds get rid of their storminess is to let go of the rain, all of the things they have been holding back and keeping captive."

To be honest, the word caught me off guard. I was expecting something that would tell me all the great things I would do one day, but God gave me what I really needed to hear instead. That night during worship my friend looked at me and said, ”God wants to move in your life, and there is freedom on the other side of breaking down those walls. Let those walls crumble so you can let Him in.” That was the moment I broke. I fell to my knees in worship and truly surrendered everything. I was crying so hard my entire body ached. I told God that I was done living a lie. I had tried doing things my way, but that led to putting my worth in the wrong things and people. I was afraid that people may call me a “Jesus freak” or think I was annoying because I was always talking about Jesus, but God reminded me that His opinion trumps all the others. It is exhausting to constantly live for the approval of others, but it is so rewarding to live for God’s approval because you already have it. I was ready to be honest with people, and to stop hiding who God had made me to be. After about 15 minutes or so, I saw God’s hand reaching down. He said, ”Okay baby girl, it’s time to stand and take a step.” I stood with a tear stained face and I began to worship so big and so passionately I thought I was about to burst. The joy welled up in my chest and I couldn’t contain it. I was finally free.

I walked into the auditorium that night bound by other’s opinions, by perfectionism, anxiety, and I walked out a free spirit. People from my church that night told me I was different. They weren’t talking about the fact that I walked in with mascara, and walked out with it all over my face. They noticed that something changed internally, and it radiated from the inside out. It was pure joy because I was free from the burdens of feeling like I needed to control my life and every single situation. I let God have it all, and He exchanged my insecurities for confidence in Him. He exchanged my anxiety for peace. He exchanged my captivity for freedom.

If you’ve never experienced this freedom, it is available. This is the freedom that Jesus died for on the Cross. He broke chains off of you, so let go and give them to Him. If you are still living bound by sin and shame, I invite you to the freedom Jesus offers each of you. It is never too late for you to come out of captivity. Ask God for breakthrough, and truly surrender it all. Lay your burdens, sin, flaws, and everything at His feet. Freedom is on the other side of letting God in.

Say it with me: (aloud please!)

I am no longer a slave to my sin. I believe that Jesus came from Heaven to Earth to die a terrible death so that I may live in freedom. Death can’t hold Jesus in a grave, and He died so I may have that as well. I am ready to accept Jesus into my heart, and give it all to Him. Every single burden, sin, victory, and everything in between. I want God to lead my life so that I may walk in the joy and the freedom that He is inviting me into. I am ready for a noticeable change in myself so that I may share the goodness of God to all those around me. The Son of God set us all free, so we may be free indeed. AMEN!!

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

Remember that walls are not guarding you, they are isolating you. The walls are keeping you from God and community. You are much more susceptible to an attack from the Enemy when you confine yourself. My leader said it this way: A cow had strayed off from its herd. Since it was alone, a wolf saw it as an easier target and decided to attack. In 1 Peter 5:8-9 it tells us, “Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. Resist him and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.” There is so much power in community because we can continue to speak Truth into each other’s lives. We can fight on each other’s behalves in prayer when it seems like they can’t fight it on their own. God never intended for us to be alone and that is why in Genesis 2:18 God created a companion for Adam, and He gave him Eve.

This story was a summary of what happened that week at camp. The truth is, God was speaking the same message to me all week, but I wasn't paying attention or didn't see it until I looked back at the moments. I look back and see that God was fighting for my breakthrough the whole week. He never gave up on me because He knew freedom was so close to being found. In Matthew 18:12-14, Jesus tells the parable of the lost sheep.

“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish"

This passage tells me that God will never stop pursuing me. I am sought after by the One who created the Heavens and the Earth and everything in between. Jesus died on the Cross to bridge the gap between sin and God so that we may have a chance at knowing His heart. The heart that cares so deeply for you that He would never give up on you, even after you've given up on yourself. You see, I was fine living in insecurity and worries because I didn't know any different. If that is where you find yourself, struggling with things for so long you can't remember when they started, I'm here to tell you that you don't have to live like that. God is fighting for your freedom, but you have to accept the invitation and receive it. There is more to life than going through the motions. Today choose to live differently. Choosing God invites peace, joy, hope, and freedom into your life that is so contagious it spreads to those around you. I'm done living what the Devil told me was "normal" because I invited God to hold me instead of holding onto the lies the Enemy has fed me. I ask you to let God in and let God free you.

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14